Message from the Superintendent

I was in the 7th grade.  There had been some very severe issues that had happened, and were happening in my home with my parents and siblings.  The details might not be necessary to share now, still, trust me - I really was in a survival mode and school was the only safe and normal place. 

I am not sure why, but I was hanging out with some "friends" who also came from some "bumpy" home lives.  Casey and Randy were a couple of them and due to their age, physical strength, and social currency in the group - they were the leaders.  Interestingly, the only membership or requirement to be "in" this group was just to show up, and if you had a lack of home support/supervision, you fit right in.  Many of the choices this group made were not healthy.  They drank, did drugs, did criminal activity and well.....pushed about every limit you could imagine.  Having seen the destruction those vices caused in my own family, it was easy for me to not participate when the group did them, and the group left me alone and seemed in a rough sort of way to understand and even show compassion. 

Then, one day in 7th grade, my PE teacher Mr. O'Brien called me into his office.  I thought, "What did I do?" as most 7th graders might worry when the teacher wants to talk with them.  Mr. O'Brien sat me down and said the following: "Nick, we understand that you have some pretty tough things going on in your family.  You need to understand that those things are not your fault.  And, you also need to know that you can use your power of choice to make any decisions you want with your life, and you can choose to do things that will help you.  You don't have to be a victim of your family life, and you can become whoever you want to be.  I believe in you and the guys you are hanging out with now are not going to help you in life.  They are struggling in their own ways and making choices that could hurt you."  He wanted me to pick different friends. I shared with him that I liked these guys, that they did not judge me or look down on me like some of the more popular kids, even the "jocks" who seemed pretty full of themselves.  He said he understood that, but thought I should really take a look at where I wanted to go with my life and choose different friends.  That was the end of the meeting.

I left his office wondering and then a couple days later I went up to Casey in the hall.  I said, "Casey, I am not going to hang out with you guys anymore” and he asked, “Why"?  I said, "I don't think it is good for me.”  Casey got really upset, started swearing at me, pulled a knife and said, "You can't just leave the gang and we are going to fight."  I said, "Well, then I guess we are going to fight cause I am not staying in it.”  He muttered something under his breath and then walked away.  A couple weeks later there was a fight with another person from the group, but it did not amount to much and I held my ground and simply started making different choices.  None of this was processed with my family; they had enough on their plates.  I went on to pay a little more attention to school, attended classes, and really got into sports. That was my place to express myself.  If we met on the football field you were in trouble, because all the anger, energy, and talent I had was coming at you - I played as though my life depended on it - in some ways, because it did.   

I completely lost touch with the gang and Casey and Randy in particular, until I learned something my senior year in high school.  It was about the time I had earned all conference and all state honors in football and received a college scholarship along the same path. I was going to college and would not have without that door opening. My family stuff had settled down; siblings and parents went their separate ways, and I had a place to sleep and eat without being abused. Then, through word of mouth (as it was not talked about in any open way in those days) I learned that Casey had been the driver and hit a telephone pole and died.  He had been drinking at the time and there were others in the car who were injured.  A few weeks later, I learned that Randy died of a drug overdose.  Their stories ended.

I cannot say that I would have been in that car.  I cannot say that I would have ever fallen so far as to take drugs.  But, I can say,that if Mr. O'Brien had not shared those words with me that day when I was in 7th grade, my life would have taken a different path and I don't know where I would be.

You see, this is just my story, and you have a story too.  And here we are the responsible and caring adults surrounded by young people now, who all have and are living their "stories' - these things called our lives.  And the words you have and the words you share with your students, the young people you see every day, well these words are powerful, you can influence their stories and change lives.  Use them, and use them well.

Thank you! 

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